Oh man. I love it when my fandoms crash. Twitter is just one of my favorite places ever. Craig Owens does not get enough love and respect and I'm so scared he's going to drop out of the music scene. Maybe Pete will help not let that happen.

Is it weird that I would trust Pete to save someone I care about?





And no, I still wouldn't let Craig date my daughter. *g*

Thing 1: I finally saw Where the Wild Things Are last weekend. This may be one of my all time favorite movies. I think I sat breathless through the whole thing. Something just clicked. The music, the longing, the dreamlike movement. I know a lot of people didn't like it but Bethie and I adored it. I'm so glad I had the chance to share that with her.

Thing 2: There's an ACTUAL LETTERS IN THE MAIL meme going around that I've decided to warp because I forgot to process my birthday demands this year. If I have your address, I'm probably going to send you a letter whether you like it or not! My handwriting is nearly illegible so it may not be something I've written but you will most likely get mail.

If you WANT mail and think I don't have your address, hunt me down and send it to me. I'm sceaterian pretty much everywhere - gmail, twitter, you get the idea.

meinnim, you get partial blame for this because you were reminiscing over old Christmas cards and I realized we barely communicate in anything deeper than a tweet or text anymore. It's not just my flist either. I barely talk to my family and rl friends, so they're getting notes too.

Thing 3: I need a new fandom, any suggestions?

Thing 4: Grizzly Bear

blackwiidow, you've been on my mind for no specific reason. *hugs*

So what's going on that I'm completely missing?

From Keltie's Twitter:
tooth loss dreams-may be a fear of giving away too much information, a spilling of secrets, or a fear of being lied to. about 11 hours ago from web

and then from Brendon's:
@DallonBrobeck so I finally had a dream last night that my teeth were falling out. just thought I'd let you know. about 5 hours ago from Tweetie in reply to DallonBrobeck

Had SO MUCH FUN last night. All four bands were fabulous. Chester French only played like three songs because there were "bullshit technical difficulties" (Brendon's words). But even they were really good. I tried to hate them. The whole "As I Em" colab with Asher Roth pissed me off. But I just can't. They're smart and funny and make pretty good music.

( Panic, FOB and Blink behind the cut. Long and rambling and mostly just hear for my memories. )

There is still one thing I need confirmed. During Panic's show, their tech "Tony" brought out a guitar and I swear it was Mark Hoppus in a wig. Confirmed by Dallon's twitter!

Overall it was a spectacular evening. Thank you Chester French, Panic! at the Disco, Fall Out Boy and Blink-182 for a memorable night. Thanks Shak for going with me. Wasn't Heather hilariously drunk?

A hopeless romantic you'll never see
'Cause you're not in on the joke

So so proud of G.A.B.E. and Cobra Starship. Just hearing them on the radio makes my heart swell. Sometimes I just want to be happy and dance with my hands in the air.

Love Good Girls Go Bad but my favorite songs on the album are You're Not In On The Joke and Pete Wentz Is The Only Reason We're Famous. They have just the right mix of Gabe's fuck'em all attitude and that deeper vein of intelligent insight that threatens to ooze out from his journal entries.

Panic, FOB and Blink-182 on Saturday! Way past excited at this point! Cannot wait for this concert.

Hello LJ, I've missed you.

Happy birthday hockeyfrog! Hope you're having fun at the drag show!

Thank you, Zack for reminding me that I hadn't seen the What A Catch, Donnie video. Oh my. Beautifully done. This is their most Elton John song to date. Patrick's good. Sometimes I forget just how good.

Today I was cruising home from work and realized, I absolutely love Change by The Young Veins. An absurd amount. I think I'm just sucked in by the lyrics. It's a well known fact that I'll forgive a horrible voice and bad music for some brilliant lyrics. Or even pretty-good ones, apparently.

On the contrary, New Perspective's lyrics confuse me so I just focus on the drums, grin and sing along.

Back in the real world, got to see Mark for about 10 minutes today. I've missed him like crazy and catching up only made me miss him more. I don't have a whole lot of real friends (well lots of REAL friends, just not many in close proximity) and I miss that give-and-take dynamic, the reassurance that someone will listen and offer good advice or maybe just empathize. I wish a few of you lived closer.

Sending hugs to blackwiidow. You'd been floating around the edges of my thoughts lately, then crashed in hard when I read that Jon Hughes passed away. Hope you're doing well. I miss you.

I'm surprisingly excited to hear Ryan and Jon's song "Change". Also found it very interesting that Jon never actually signed with FBR. How did that work?

So is Spencer actually playing guitar now? Is that what his tweet about the guitar amplifier meant? That would also explain the extra weight on his shoulders...

( Is it too soon to request break-up fic? )

In real life - saw Counting Crows with Taylor and Vin a week or so ago. Fabulous time. That band is just so much fun live. However, they let the guys from Augustana stay on stage with them way too long. I wanted to hear Adam sing, not a bad imitation.

On Friday, my family and I went to see The Half-Blood Prince. My brother kept talking about how different this one felt, more adult, more personal. I thought it felt like Shakespeare, formal and humorous. It's been interesting reading everyone's reviews. I'm actually not much of a Harry Potter fan but it gives me something to talk about with my kid.

Ugh, wanted to type up our adventures in highway cleaning from yesterday but it's time for bed. Maybe tomorrow. Night.

Happy birthday, Pete!



I have more FOB & Cobra Starship pics but am too tired to post them. They suck so you're not missing anything. But they're on my flickr if you want to see them.

Even though this pic sucks, I still love it.

Hey Min, I was just watching the Today Show and the look Pete & Patrick shared when talking about Pete regretting things he posts reminded me of a conversation we had on how Patrick would wake up and tell Pete to delete whatever horrible posts came from Pete's insomnia the night before. Remember?

Seriously amazing show. Best intro I've ever seen. Coolest lighted drums on the planet. Stephan Jenkins is a vampire. They brought a couch on stage and chilled while playing. The drummer is some kind of musical prodigy who also played keyboard and guitar. They played Wounded, Motorcycle Drive By and God Of Wine. I am seriously just in love with this band.

So I just confused Nick Drake with Nick Cave (& The Bad Seeds) when Brendon twittered lyrics to "Just Dropped In". In trying to remember which was which, I went searching my playlists. Immediately figured out why I confuse them. I first heard Nick Drake's Pink Moon about the same time I heard Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds Hallelujah which I thought would be a Hallelujah cover and so was not. my piano crouched in the corner of my room with all its teeth bared I'd forgotten how much I love that line.

Yeah...the songs aren't that similar but somehow they got smushed together in my head. Something about the hopeless feeling.

Later I realized, Brendon probably knows the song from the Kenny Rogers version. Wasn't it in that movie I hated? The Big Lewbowski or something. Yeah, this is why I suck at music conversation.

Did I mention that I went to Chicago? An awesome time was had by all. nobodygirl and meinnim are amazing! Expect a full recap of my experience soon. But today I'm sick. This cold is kicking my ass. I owe about 100 emails and replies and I haven't even looked at any of the Chicago pictures yet. I'd like to hunt down some of the Chicago FOB concert shots, the show was fabulous.

Missed you. Miss you.

It wasn't my wardrobe malfunction but at one concert both Cheyenne of Bliss 66 and Brent Scallions of Fuel split open the zippers on their leather pants. That's how you measure a good show.

meinnim is coming to visit in a couple weeks and we're going to visit nobodygirl! I've missed them so much, it's been SIX MONTHS. How did so much time pass?

So that's the good news. The bad news is my car died. It's parked down at Dewey's waiting for the sun to rise. Hopefully it's not something huge and they can fix it quickly and cheaply. Stress on the cheaply. Of course this whole incident had to happen when I took my parents out to celebrate my mother's birthday so we spent most of the afternoon arguing about why I can't buy a new car right now. They think they can solve everything by throwing a little money at it.

The Monster is starting to act human lately. It's a little scary and a lot wonderful. I get hugs and the occasional kind word and she even helped clean the house yesterday. Not sure what's going on but I'm just going to enjoy it for a while.

I like to think that I relate more to @TheSpencerSmith when it comes to the Panic At The Disco guys. Coolly controlled, quietly snarky, a little more about the feel than the look in everything including the music. But then I realize, I'm actually more like @thisisryanross. Dorky, slightly oblivious, prone to locking my keys in my car. It's all very embarrassing.

Tried to watch Let The Right One In today but got bored. Sorry William Beckett, guess I'm not as cool as you. I have the attention span of a gnat.

This is one long and winding entry. Sorry readers. My journal is all about spewing random sentiments to get them out of my head rather than any sort of quality prose for you to enjoy.

( So as an apology have a quick picspam all about the love. )

Been staring at this blank screen too long. I've forgotten how to do anything longer than 140 characters.

I wish I had something exciting to tell you about my life but I really don't. My attempt to see Empires was an epic failure. I've been pretty down ever since and can't seem to shake it. It helps knowing friends are coming to visit next month. I can really use the break and a good time. Plus, Chicago!

Sean was a sweetheart, though. When I missed the show, he offered to play again. Seriously, how is that boy real? He also said William let him stay on their bus when he was sick. (I've always loved sweet and sincere William. Rockstar William taking over a stage is pretty amazing too.)

So does anyone know who @dreFTLA is? Both Zack and Pete rec'd him for #followfriday and when I asked who he was, he was the only one that responded ("I'm dre").

Did anyone happen to watch Harper's Island? There was a song on there that reminded me of Pencey Prep and was wondering who it was. There must be a way to look up music from a TV show.

For those of you that celebrate, have an amazing Easter. And for Miss Mels, Happy Passover.

I have a jumble of things in my head and my filter is working overtime.

Things have been not so good at work. Long hours, stupid project, the fact that I work for HP/EDS. Morale is low and it's not such a fun place to work right now.

Plus, it's sad watching Detroit die. I love that city so much and it's just crumbling fast.

Forgive my whining. I'm trying to keep my public attitude positive. I honestly believe we'll be okay.

On to better things.

I'm not canceling my trip to Chicago. The one in May, that is. I already had to cancel a trip there to see Xanadu with Shakela. But that's okay, that will make my first trip to Chicago even more special. I need this trip and am really excited to see meinnim and nobodygirl.

Main Street Electrical Parade popped up on my mp3 player yesterday and made me wonder, does Disneyland still do the Main Street Electrical Parade? That was my favorite Disneyland experience. I petted the electrical lady bug. It was awesome. That song has the circus theme in the middle. Someday I'm going to get the notes to that tattooed around my wrist, like an intricate joke, the never ending song. One day I told my Monster that and she just shook her head and told me I couldn't because I'm afraid of clowns.

Chey said something about focusing on the music "without distractions" now. For some reason, I believe him this time.

Yeah, random journal entry is random.

So how have you all been? Good I hope? Some of you got to see Empires and I'm completely jealous.

In my last blog, I said "I steal lyrics to express what I'm thinking or feeling at any given time, trusting that the emotion they invoke in me will be conveyed." Sometimes I think Ryan does the same thing. But his are more guarded, cryptic (surreptitious).

Today is my LiveJournal anniversary. I've been saving my thoughts here for 7 years. Which reminds me, I need to do a back up.

Last night we saw He's Just Not That Into You. It was so predictable, from beginning to end I knew every plot twist was coming. And still I loved it. It was so honest and slightly over acted to the point that it reminded me of every "at the very edge of control" moment I've ever had. Those times when everything feels weighted with emotion and every word has double or triple meanings and you hope the people listening understand them all. I was so completely invested in this movie, I didn't want it to end. I felt like one of my favorite series had just been canceled.

All that could have just been a reaction to an overly emotional week. Don't care. It was exactly what I needed.

Another meme, no one is surprised.

Comment to this post and I will give you five subjects/things I associate you with. Then post this in your LJ and elaborate on the subjects given.

( I'm a selfish bitch so I actually asked twice. )

No lie, just survived two horrifically awful days. They rank right up there in the top 10 worst days of my life. But I survived. No details forthcoming. Just wanted everyone to know I'm good, stable once again. Or you know, as stable as I ever get. And if you could send some good vibes toward Michigan, I would appreciate it. More hard times are still to come.


Interesting note - the same songs that made me cry in the midst of my breakdown yesterday, made me smile when I finally got a hold of myself this afternoon.

Oh hey - does anyone remember Tyron Leitso? I can't remember if there is anyone left on my flist from the Brendan board. Anyway, Tyron's in a new show.


Man, I wish I had a copy of that chair-on-head pic.

Happy Birthday meinnim!!

You will always be my Patrick.

I just keep thinking about the girl that Ryan was cheating with (assuming it's all true). Why would you want to be that chick? Because Keltie and Ryan had a VERY public relationship. It's not like she didn't know he wasn't single. Why would you choose to be the one that he's ashamed of? And secondly, didn't she realize that he's just cheating on her too.

The music is separate from their personal lives, and I still love the music, but for his sake I hope Ryan learned a lesson. He knows what it feels like to be cheated on. I hope he feels twice as bad for making someone else hurt in that way.

Happy Valentines Day my dears!

First thing this morning (this afternoon, whatever) I received a text message full of hearts. I was confused but appreciative. Wasn't until a few more texts came in that I realized what day it is. But that first text, being a surprise and all, just made my day.


I was tagged by penceyprepster for the friendship meme. And it seems appropriate to share some love today.

Pick 10 people and give them the "you make my day" award. If you're picked, you are charged with picking 10 of your own.

As an added bonus, I once mentioned that when one of you crosses my mind, I send a little wish up for you. I'm including those wishes.


click to read the names

( These are the people that touch my soul on a daily basis. )

My brain is dead. Long week, still not feeling well...blah. So this will be random bits and jaunts and possibly a no thought required meme at the end. Sorry for making you read the equivalent of mind diarrhea.


THANK YOU, meinnim for the lovely v-gift! I know I say it every day but I really do treasure our friendship.

Who sent me Jon Mclaughlin's Beautiful Disaster? Because this song is perfect for my daughter. It's really gorgeous yet stark and just a little painful.

I'm almost sad to see that the Criss Angel twitter is a fake. Although I kind of got that impression right from the beginning.

Hobo continues to be the second cutest puppy on earth. Ginger of course is, and always will be first. To me, anyway.


Icon meme that I stole from meinnim.

1. How do you feel right now?



( The rest are behind the cut. )

I told you Shane loved to film Spencer! I expect this to bring TONS of Spencer/Shane fic. Please?

I have beautiful music tonight. My manager loaned me the August Rush soundtrack and it's gorgeous. And I FINALLY got Icehouse Man Of Colours. This CD contains so many memories of my first year in college. I almost named my daughter Sunset because I loved the song Heartbreak Kid so much. If anyone is interested in sampling a little Icehouse, let me know.

I never met a music meme I didn't like.

1. Reply to this post and I'll assign you a letter.
2. List (and upload, if you feel like it) 5 songs that start with that letter.
3. Post them to your journal with these instructions.

prettykitty_aya was kind enough to assign me an E so here goes.

1. Edgar Allen Poe's Ulalume ~ Jeff Buckley
Okay so this is totally cheating but it comes up under E on my mp3 player and you NEED to hear this. And because I cheated, you can have Eternal Life too.

2. El Paso ~ Corkscrew Boar
Because A0 makes me listen to the weirdest stuff.

3. Enfilade ~ At The Drive-In
It was either this or Eriatarka ~ The Mars Volta.

4. Embrace ~ JoyDrop
Tara Slone is one of my favorite singers ever. You should listen to Metasexual if you haven't already.

5. Eggs And Sausage (In A Cadillac With Susan Michaelson) ~ Tom Waits
And because that's not my favorite song, have Diamonds & Gold too. You should listen to a broad selection of his songs. He's unique.

So many of my favorite artists/bands have songs I don't like that start with E. It was a little frustrating. You almost got the Panic cover of Eleanor Rigby out of desperation.

So if you're on my flist, you already know we have a pretty non-traditional family. This post will not paint me in the best light but it still amuses me greatly.

First, through my browser history, I see that my daughter looked up "cunnilingus" at dictionary.com. I'm just happy to see her using the dictionary.

Second was this little exchange:

Monster: What color were my dad's eyes?
Me: Brown, why?
Monster: Yeah, I know brown, but like what shade? Did they have green in them like mine or were they darker or what?


Oh hell. It's been EIGHTEEN YEARS since I've seen this guy and all of a sudden NOW she wants me to reminisce about his eye color? She never asks about her dad. Like creepily never. And I honestly can't remember his eyes all that well. I remember they were darker than mine because that's what her eyes reminded me of when she was tiny. But flecks of green? Damn if I know!

*sigh* I always told her I'd introduce the two of them "when you grow up...and when he grows up." I think she's starting to think she's grown up enough. I'm not so sure about him. :\

But the internets were entertaining. The great Vegas war of 2009 is on and then there was that Mein Cymbal catalog.

( It's disturbing how much I love Spencer's little belly. )

( Hello there Spencer's thigh. )

I'm so sick. My house is a mess and the child is "cleaning" which means taking everything out of her room and dumping it in my living room while she sorts stuff. And I really don't have the energy to deal with her or her friends tromping through my house all day.

In my fevered dreams I was being kissed by a really hot guy then my daughter ran in to tell me Spencer had posted and I suddenly realized it had to be a dream because Spencer doesn't post! Although apparently he does play Mario Kart online.

But this bit of baby fluff from heavyhart totally made me feel better again. You guys, this is everything, EVERYTHING, I wanted in a story about Brendon and a baby. I ♥ her so much.

Okay, back to being sick. I made it through about half my friends list and I know there were things I wanted to do/read that I haven't quite gotten to yet. Sorry. I think Caty has a story I need to read and I've missed a bunch of Min's entries and there was a whole post of pictures I wanted to look at... dang. I'll try again tomorrow.

eta: Pete Wentz put onions and lunch meat in Sisky's jacket pockets and it smelled so bad he had to throw it away. William says that means Pete has a crush on Sisky!

My view of the world is tilting today. Maybe that's not such a bad thing. Welcome President Obama.


I had my last visit to the hematologist. For the first time in 2 years, I'm not anemic. Now I just need to give my body time to heal. I feel better though. It's quite a relief. Apparently I'll be on iron pills for the rest of my life.

My hematologist's office was in the Cancer Institute which was always a humbling experience. I'd come home from every appointment with a renewed appreciation for life, my health and my family. Yesterday, while I was in the exam room, a young boy about 5 or 6 walked by with his father and I heard him say "But daddy, I don't want to have cancer." It simply broke my heart. I came home and hugged my child and said a little prayer of thanks for all the things that never happened.

That place will forever stick with me. Whenever I start feeling depressed about my own life, I'll remember the smiles of people that have things much worse to deal with than my petty troubles but still find a way to just appreciate life.



Is joncerfan a pseudonym for someone on my flist? Because it was really weird to see my own icon glaring at me from my friends page. Not that I mind that someone took it. It's just that it's a crappy picture and I only use it because they're my memories. So it's kind of weird that anyone would want to use it. *shrugs* Not that it matters...adjusted outlook on life and all. What's mine is the world's.

I rarely do things like that but I just joined the Cobra chat-room while they had their web cam and audio going. It was surprisingly fun. They were asking the people in chat to help them name their next album. Someone named Ryan Ross joined and asked them to say hello to William Beckett. Of course Gabe couldn't pass that up! Then someone named Spencer Smith joined and they were saying "Spency-baby!" Now I want a fic where Gabe is trying to seduce Spencer and keeps calling him "Spency-baby!"

Apparently, Keltie brings out the protective mother bear side of me. But then someone replied, "yeah, she's real graceful on that stripper pole." TO WHICH I COULDN'T RESPOND BECAUSE I WAS TOO CAUGHT UP THINKING ABOUT KELTIE ON A STRIPPER POLE! That is the hottest image to flash across my brain in weeks.

Of course, this makes me very, very creepy and one of those girlfriend stalkers that I hate.

/o\ All my personal boundaries are crumbling.

But I really wanted to respond with how hot that is. Someone stop me, I haven't closed the window yet.

This actually started out as a depressing post filled with my whining about things I can't control. Decided to ditch that in favor of funny boys being funny and showing their Beatles geekatude. Sorry to my non-bandom friends.

I hope Ryan and Spencer never stop acting like BFFs. Thumb-war is the ONLY way to settle a disagreement! Wasn't there a pic of a very young Ryan and Spencer with a VW Beetle?

I should learn to keep my mouth shut but I can't stand when people get self-righteous for no good reason. For the record, I hated Rushmore.

Does the fact that the song title is a quote from a trendy movie make it less offensive or just unoriginal?

As I said on Twitter, it seems counterproductive to argue with an artist I actually admire so I am shutting up.

The whole LJ scare got me thinking. So much of the past seven years of my life have been documented (or actually transpired) on this journal.

This entry is really just for me and won't make sense to most.

Bethannie hurt her foot so we're waiting for the doctor to call with an appointment time, in the meantime I started reading some old entries, from way back in 2002. What surprised me most is that I'm not that different from the person I was back then. I thought I had changed so much.

So many memories, I'm overwhelmed. I've been alternately laughing then blinking back tears all morning. Not sure if this is a trip down memory lane or a drawn-out goodbye. Do I try to back it up? Or do I just let it go.

There is this nagging feeling that just lingers as I read these old entries. When I look at the coincidences, and intersecting circles and the way everything seemed tangentally related, I can't help but feel we missed something huge. Leaps of faith that led to discovery, the deepest conversations of my life. Everyone on the same page, spanning miles and generations, a twisted sort of group-think. There was something great there, all the signs were pointing to it. But we fucking missed it. And now we've all gone too far past, lost touch and moved on. For a second there it almost clicked but we just couldn't figure out what we were supposed to do.

For 2009 -

I choose not to be creeped out.

I will make an effort to use my camera every day.

I promise to smile at you first. If that doesn't work, I will bitch your ass out but I promise to try smiling first.

I declare my bedroom a drama free zone. This. Is. My. Haven.

I will:
** make new friends
** eat something disgusting on a dare
** believe in Santa
** climb to a great height and look down on the world
** find someone worth looking up to
** wave at toddlers
** splash

Whenever you cross my mind, I'll send up a little wish for you. (Want to know my wishes?)

The price of gasoline will not stop me.

I am the head of my household.

Results of my picture meme. Thank you for the suggestions.

( Large pictures behind the cut. )

I have been begging for Spencer/Shane fic since I watched The Making of Pretty. Odd. video back in May. And finally the universe has coughed it up!

We’re not playing games, and we’re not playing lovers is a fabulous look at Spencer/Shane. Plus, it's exactly the kind of story I dreamed of, the kind that will eventually lead to Spencer/Shane/Brendon!

Thank you anonymous writer! And as soon as your name is revealed, I will be haunting your journal for additional Shane stories.

I have this urge to write things. And that never turns out well. I want to write poetry. I want to spill my feelings about my family. I'd love to write your name a thousand times across the door just to get it out of my head. I want to write the story of my childhood and pinpoint the exact moment we all changed.

I never did find any pyro!fic (or you never wrote me any). I have all these images in my head, black and white thoughts focused around a bright orange flame, of what this story could be. Or rather snippets that should be included. Excerpts of Spencer's fascination with fire, letting his calloused finger tips dance across the flame. His clinical observation on how different items burn. The whoosh of adrenalin when a blaze of tissues blows away and lands on the rug. How it was the fire that drew him to smoke up with Jon that first time, the utter control of the burn, being able to bring it close, so close to his face, peer into the embers, much closer than ever before. He has to be careful not to play with the joint until Jon's had a few puffs otherwise Jon yells at him for wasting it, letting it burn out. But once Jon's pleasantly loose, Spencer can sink into the amber glow, wave it in front of his face to watch the golden vapour trails, can climb over Jon to watch intently as Jon sucks in, makes the tip flare cherry red.

Butch Walker Sycamore Meadows is brilliant. I strongly suggest everyone listen to this CD. Soon.

I'm a sap, can't deny it, but this CD made me cry twice on the first listen. The lyrics are gorgeous, poignant and raw. The whole album is full of lines I want to quote, to use as subject lines, to wear on my skin, to use when words fail me. Oh Butch Walker, I feel like we're old friends, but this album is still too intimate. It brings to mind memories of James Taylor or Billy Joel at his most honest.

Mostly I'm afraid to rec things here because I know my tastes are often outside of normal, definitely not the popular opinion, but if even one of you is touched the way I was by these songs then I'll be happy I mentioned it.



While I'm here, if you haven't had a chance to suggest something for my photography meme, please do. I'd love some more prompts. Thanks.

In this interview with AP, I can't help but wonder if Spencer was gesturing with his hands and they filled in what they thought he meant because it doesn't seem to fit, in my mind anyway.

Although the stage setup for the show is somewhat elaborate, it's definitely a stripped down show when you compare it to your more theatrical performances.
I think if we could've done the stage for that tour exactly how we envisioned [it] in our head, it would've been a little more elaborate. But [we were] coming from the last tour we had done off Fever--[it] was the biggest tour we'd ever done; we were playing arenas in some places. It's amazing to play for that many people and everything, but it's just kinda strange because you're in an ice hockey arena or basketball place that's not really built for concerts. When we were doing the first tour [for Pretty. Odd.], we didn't want go back and play big theaters and things. Just smaller places because it's a different thing. It's a lot more fun for us. That kind of limits you, though, with the production and what you can do, but with having another album['s worth of songs] to play, [it] just ended up leading to us [doing the live album]. The focus of the show was still the music we were playing and the focus, when people came to see us, never slipped into being more about the production value and what we were actually doing. So it was gonna be the first time we were playing these songs in front of people, we just decided it would be better to just make that the focus and attention rather than having three or four people coming on stage and doing crazy things. Yeah. I don't know. Like I said, the last tour [before the one on the DVD] we did of the U.S., we had a little more production, so it's probably something that were a little limited by the venue, but at the same time it was probably a better vibe and style to film.

I kinda thought he was going more toward "scaling down the stage show and emphasizing the songs." But what do I know? I can't read anyones mind. And no, to answer today's (yesterday's) Writer's Block question, that is not a super power I would want. With my luck, I'd be cursed with something like empathy.

And ugh, still sick. Need Nyquil.

Just saw a pic of Brendon and some kid, presumably a niece or other family member, at Disney World being all cute. I couldn't help but look and at the same time, I hate myself for it. You know he must be like the funnest uncle EVER! But those are private times and deserve to be private and just...walls and boundaries should be made of steel, not fog. But then again, we probably wouldn't love them as much if they were untouchable. They invite us into their lives now and then but we forget we're just guests.

I'm not lecturing anyone but myself. I KNOW I'm a hypocrite. But this is nothing. Let's talk about my views on religion someday and give you even more ammunition.

The snow is almost higher than Ginger!




( My creatures playing in the snow under the cut. )

For those of you with Twitter, first feel free to add me, sceaterian of course. Second, what is the value of auto-posting to LJ? Just curious.

We got a lot of snow overnight. Maybe 8 inches? School was canceled for my Monster. But now my phone is ringing non-stop! Teenagers.

It's so easy to get depressed right now. To lose every bit of good in a tiny stroke of bad. Facts: I had a good time at the FOB concert tonight, I thoroughly enjoyed The Academy Is... even though I mis-read William's blog and thought he had insulted Detroit (should have known better, really). I'm sticking with these truths and letting some of the dread, anger and despair slip away.

( A few notes from the concert and a single pic )

Dear Andy Hurley,

When I first started listening to Fall Out Boy, you were my favorite by default (drummer dude) but then Pete and Patrick wormed their way into my attention in completely opposite ways. I fell for Pete's quiet, desperate child hidden under the loud bravado. His passion that often leaves him out of control. The way he absolutely adores his friends. Patrick with his steady confidence in himself, his friends, the music in his life. The way he will ramble when it's important and let others talk when it's not. The fact that he makes Minnie smile like that. But you, Mr. Hurley were so quiet, it was easy to let you fade into the background. For that I sincerely apologize. Your FC twitters have reminded me just how awesome and completely weird you really are.

Then you went and posted this and I fell in love all over again.

17:56 @chelseagirl what? no. absolutely not. that has nothing to do with my love for and happiness that my best friend has an amazing baby. why #
17:56 @chelseagirl would i possibly care about some meaningless title, when i love and care about his child with all my life?-a #

Just. ♥_♥ You are what made me happy today. And it's barely noon.

Today was mostly peaceful but not nearly as happy as yesterday. I'm going to bed so I'd better post my happy thought. All of you. Thanks for being my friends.


P.S. Dragonfruit VitaminWater is disgusting.

P.S.S. Christmas shows are my second happy thought. Even if Santa is kind of a jerk to Rudolph and the elves.